Dreams Come Alive

Recently I conducted two workshops for parents whose children were in varying levels of primary school. The content included their child’s psychological Stages of Development, Multiple Intelligences and the 5 love languages.

According to marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapman, we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts. This theory of love languages can be applied to any relationship – parent and child; between spouses or life partners.

One of the reasons why my girlfriend, Jillian, and I hit it off so well and so deeply and feel so loved by each other is that we share the same love language and share them in the exact same order. And just as importantly, we are on the same page when it comes to defining and displaying our commitment.

We practise the Back to Basics style of love. Eschewing extravagant dinners, flamboyant gifts, elaborate declarations and theatrical demonstrations, we make a habit of firmly holding hands, tightly holding each other close, being fully present when in each other’s company, talking openly and freely affirming.

Love is a work in progress. Yes it takes work, and consistent work too. Large one-off displays can never replace the constant practice of meeting your partner’s needs. An oasis in the middle of a desert welcomes a weary traveller with simple shade and natural water without the need for manicured gardens or fancy taps.

When I was out in the desert during the Sahara Race, I learnt to appreciate the simple basics of sustenance and nourishment. Now that I am back in the urban jungle negotiating the complexities of life, I am keeping to the same fundamentals of loving and being loved.

As Mother Teresa put it so succinctly, “In life we cannot do great things, only small things with great love”.