Dreams Come Alive

Just read this story in “Way of the Peaceful Warrior”…

Two monks, one old, one very young, walked along a muddy path in a rain forest, on their way back to a monastery. They came upon a lovely woman who stood helplessly at the edge of a muddy, fast-flowing stream.

Seeing her predicament, the older monk swept her up in his strong arms and carried her across. She smiled at him, her arms around his neck, until he put her gently down on the other side. Thanking him, she bowed, and the monks continued on their way in silence.

As they neared the monastery gates, the young monk could no longer contain himself. “How could you carry a beautiful woman in your arms? Such behaviour does not seem proper for a priest.”

The old monk looked at his companion and replied, “I left her back there. Are you still carrying her?”

As we near the start of a brand new year, it may be worth asking ourselves what and who we are still carrying within us that is getting in the way of our moving forward. What is it that we need to deal with for one last time? What will it take to let it go?

Stay here. Live here. Be here. Now. 

People tend to ask me whether I prefer running programmes for children and youths or facilitating workshops for corporate executives. The short answer is both. I love the different challenges posed by the two groups and I get to polish my skills, techniques and ways of being. And importantly, I get to self facilitate through observation and reflection.

Primary school children are at that age where they begin to accumulate baggages. Their cognitive and emotional development allows them to give meaning to their experiences and they become more sensitive to the messages they receive from those around them. Unfortunately many develop beliefs that aren’t very useful in aiding their growth and they gather more references that encourage staying in their comfort zone. However they still possess an enormous propensity to be honest and authentic, and under appropriate guidance and safe coaching, it is this willingness to risk and trust again that permits a brand new start.

Adults, on the other hand, carry so much emotional and mental baggage that it leads to self-sabotaging behaviour. Weighed down and held back by our past experiences and emotions, we can be so entrenched in our beliefs and self righteous in our judgements, assumptions and expectations that we prevent ourselves from leading fulfilling and meaningful lives.  

So what can we do? The short answer is let go. Fully experience our experience - whatever is going through us – and then let it all go.

Look at babies and little toddlers. What do they do when they are feeling upset? They let the entire neighbourhood know through their banshee wails, shrill howls and ear splitting screams –  100% pure crying.  They do not worry whether or how they should be crying. Accepting their emotions completely, they let their feelings flow and then let them go. No holding back, no harbouring of ill thoughts and emotions.

So it can be with our successes and failures. Celebrate and commisserate; feel and flow; and then let them all go so we can create new experiences.

Babies and children are our best teachers. Learn from them and dissolve old thinking and habits.

Class in session!

Carrying on from the previous post, here’s a line from Shantaram, one of my top 3 books of all time: “You are not a man until you give your love, truly and freely, to a child. And you are not a good man until you earn the love, truly and freely, of a child in return.”

It is amazing how the last two years have developed for me. If someone had told me some time before that I would spend a portion of my working life surrounded by little children and actually enjoying it, I would have fallen off my seat at the incredulity of the suggestion. 

The Universe obviously has ideas of its own and not only have I since found myself making a difference to the lives of the little ones, but they, clearly more than they realise, have taught me so much about love and life. And above all, I am slowly discovering what is means to be a good man.

Work in progress. Always.

Just ran another 2.5 day Young Champions (YC) workshop for over a hundred 9 to 12 year olds and as usual, it was packed with lessons and discoveries for me. Designed for pre teens to build their self awareness and remove any obstacles that get in the way of their growth toward their goals and aspirations, the entire programme emphasises peak performance strategies, building self esteem, unlocking inner strengths and breaking down their mental barriers in order to assess the elements of a chamion mindset.

Being a trainer of such a programme affords me the luxury of learning from an unexpected source – the children themselves. It never ceases to amaze me their propensity to love unconditionally. One moment you could be admonishing them for a transgression (and by the way, they KNOW when they have overstepped the mark and are willing to take the flak as long as you are clear that it is their behaviour that is a problem, not them) and the next, they will be flashing you their brilliant smiles and wrapping their arms around you for the tightest of hugs.

They are certainly the best teachers (by living, not talking) of forgiveness, of ‘coming from nothing’ and beginning anew. At such a tender young age, they hold nothing to heart and have an enormous capacity to love. Parents can do no worse than to ask not what they can teach their children, but what they can learn from their children.

Letting go…

Was invited to give a talk last Saturday on my desert adventure. Toiled for quite a while pondering over what the key message was to give the audience. Felt that it was important that not only are they entertained, that there should be an element of education and a lot of value to be gained which they can apply to their daily lives.

Decided on Lessons from the Desert: The SAHARA Way to Making Your Dreams Come Alive, heavily influenced by the myriad of lessons I picked up in the desert. In a nutshell:

Self

Know your strengths, values and beliefs. What is your best self like? You have whatever you need to achieve your goals and you are what you think, so focus your thoughts on those aspects you would like to see more of.

Aspirations

It all starts with having a dream. If you had a magic wand, what would your life be like? What is your vision of who you are and what you have? See it, feel it and believe it. You create your own reality.

Hardiness

Life is an ultra-marathon, not a sprint. As you take action toward your dreams you will likely meet with challenges and obstacles. Learn from your past mistakes and develop your resilience to better bounce back from setbacks.   

Appreciation

You cannot have more without valuing what you already have. When did you last stop to smell the roses? What are the things you have and who are the people in your life that you are grateful for?

Relationships

The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships. Who are your travelling companions in this journey of life? Are you surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people? Whom are you making a difference to everyday?

Adventure

Life is an adventure. When was the last time you did something for the first time? What are you truly passionate about? You’d be surprised how energised you become when you are clear about your purpose in life.