Dreams Come Alive

This is the second part for those who did not make it to NAC and would like short, sharp sharings.

Speaker: Les Brown

1) Shared a personal refusal to accept how decades after his mother single-handedly brought up seven children, those very same seven grown-up adults now could not look after their ill mother. He took her in to nurse her. Where in your business and life are you saying you “can’t” when really it is about whether you “want” to or not?

2) Showed a picture of him with the Jackson 5. At that time all of them had yet to make it big in their respective arenas, were considered nobodys and didn’t even know who they were going to become. Who are the people around you, how are you seeing them and how are you presenting yourself? You are special and have greatness in you.

3) Create partnerships. You can’t and don’t have to make it all by yourself. Solo entrepreneurship is overrated. Who are you partnering and collaborating with?

Speaker: Rohan Weerasinghe and Matthew Snedden

1) In property investment, have a strategy first, then look at the area, then look at specific properties. Too many people do it the other way around. Do you have a speaking business strategy or are you too busy being in the business of speaking?

2) Always know the bank’s valuation before buying. Then buy below market value. What is the value you are giving your customers and clients? At the end of your engagement do they consider themselves having got a bargain or overpaid?

3) Their programme incorporates learning and principles from Robert Kiyosaki. For those yet to establish a powerful branding, who can you borrow credibility from? For those with an established name, who can be your champion mouthpiece?

Speaker: Peter Sage

1) Failure is trying to do too many things, where you learn so many things and end up doing nothing due to overwhelm and confusion. Marketing ideas, technology platforms, market penetration strategies, product development possibilities etc are all well and good, and your business will require those over the long run., But right now, right this period, what is the one thing you are focused on?

2) Capital vs Initiative. You don’t need more money, you just need a better strategy. Gave great examples of how a better strategy brings in the money. One question to ask: Who else can benefit from this business/deal?

3) Don’t give away programmes for free. “If I don’t put a value on it, you will not value it.”

In response to several requests, here are some observations and takeaways from selected NAC speakers last weekend. I have opted for short, sharp sharings that will prompt insights and illumination for those in the speaking and training business.

Speaker: Cheri Tree

1) Gave the most value in terms of content and received one of the highest ratings among the speakers. The more you give, the more you receive.

2) With the help of a member of the audience, gave a live demonstration of the value and usefulness of her system. The gap between the before and after was palpable and impressive. Show, not tell, the benefits of your programme.

3) The acronyms for her system – B.A.N.K. and A.T.M. – are consistent and congruent with the benefits of its use, namely increasing sales, revenue and profits. Is your audience getting the same message from you?

Speaker: Keith Cunningham

1) Think for clarity. Create daily half-hour periods of solitude to reflect. The product of this practice depends on the quality of questions. What are you asking yourself everyday in your self-improvement?

2) FOWTW. Find out what they want. In personal relationships and business strategies, what is it truly that the other party wants? What does it look, sound and feel like? Then go and get it and give it to them. Are you prescribing your solutions before diagnosis and data gathering? If so, you may be malpractising or missing the point.

3) Pay less dumb tax. Develop your business intelligence. How are you getting better at what you do? Who can you learn from? Don’t suffer from the curse of knowledge aka “I know this already”.

Speaker: Ewen Chia

1) Proprietary software. His upsell was not just his programme but also his proprietary software. It’s all part of his business funnel. Have you developed your funnel yet?

2) Drive traffic to your website. A website is no good if no one goes there. Suggestions include website directories, social media, classifieds, videos, press releases, social bookmarks, search engines, content marketing and RSS feeds. What’s your visibility weapon of choice?

3) Affiliate marketing. If you haven’t a product or service to sell, consider selling someone else’s. If you have a product or service to sell, consider how you someone else can sell it for you.

Speaker: Andrew Bryant

1) Dancing onto stage to the tune of “Moves like Jagger” and then greeting the crowd in the multiple languages of those present immediately established connection. What is your impact opening?

2) Self. Andrew is synonymous with self-leadership. He drove his power word “self” into the minds of the audience by continually emphasising it with tonality and pause and having the audience complete his sentence with said word.

3) Engaging the audience. He was the only speaker who got off the stage to work with the crowd instead of solely staying on the stage to work the crowd. What’s different about your presentation and performance, especially in a multi-day conference/summit/congress where an overwhelmed audience is unconvinced by too many speakers using the same techniques and tactics?

26^th December. Boxing Day. My birthday.

Also a day where we make our now annual pilgrimage on the first day of the post-Christmas sales to Bicester Village, the outlet shopping haven set in the beautiful Oxfordshire countryside in the UK, to do our small bit to bolster the British economy.

A sodden day drowned all previous records for annual rainfall but the wet deluge failed to dampen the enthusiasm of shoppers from all corners of the globe who swarmed into stores up and down the British Isles, eventually spending a staggering £3 billion on a single day of shopping.

As wave after surging wave of bargain-hunting browsers and buyers launched their relentless assault on clothing racks, fitting rooms and cash tills, I chatted briefly with one besieged member of the retail staff.

There was nothing profound in the exchange; just the usual banal “how’s it going…it’s a long day for you today…respect to you for what you put up with” sort of thing. But she was beaming by the end of it and wished me well when I later exited the shop. It did not escape my notice that I was the only shopper she said a sincere goodbye to.

I reflected subsequently that what I thought was idle chit chat was in fact a whole lot more. Retail staff run the gauntlet of demanding, disdainful and downright rude customers and are generally treated as a walking name tag. What I didn’t know then was the impact of that brief encounter on the young lady. I was likely the only one that day who acknowledged her presence and respected her as a human being. And isn’t that a fundamental need we all have?

Arriving home and logging on to Facebook, I was to be on the receiving end of the same warm attention. My timeline page showed a few hundred messages wishing me a Happy Birthday. Some were from current friends I am regularly in touch with. Others came from people whom I have not seen in a while. Personal friends and professional associates alike made it a point to send me a wish or short message.

Now I may no longer be that active in celebrating my birthday and it has been some years since I marked this special day with a party bash or social gathering. But to come home and see so many people from different parts of my life wish me well has to rate up there as one of my best presents. You may not know it but you have left me beaming in my heart with your thoughful acknowledgement. I thank you and I also throw down the gauntlet to you.

As we move into a new year, make it a point to touch someone everyday. Yes, everyday. And who, you might ask. We come across people everyday in the real world and the virtual world. Some of them we know and others we don’t. Our family, friends, colleagues and customers fall into the former group. The latter include bus and taxi drivers, security guards, waiters, sales staff, newspaper vendors. The list goes on. Pick one, and make their day.

Whether it be a genuine smile, a friendly wave, a holding of the door, a grateful word of thanks, a giving of way, a sincere apology, a moment of your time, a listening ear, a warm greeting, a sharing of time, an sms smiley, your presence or a birthday wish, you just never know what difference you will make. And that is the most exciting part.

A true adventure is not discovering what you know is going to be there, but what you don’t know. Take a small moment each day to make it about someone else and you take both of you into an unknown experience. Your adventure is about to begin.

Isn’t life exciting!

Resilience. How do we bounce back from a setback, recover from a failure, get back on our feet from a fall?

Resilience is a familiar theme, one that an increasing number of organisations and institutes call upon me to help their staff and students with. And just last week I had the opportunity to rebound from a disappointment myself.

Ten days ago I gave a keynote address to a business unit of a large MNC. They had gone through multiple changes in leadership in a short space of time and uncertainty and dissatisfaction pervaded the ranks. It was a high stakes presentation and my speech was meant to empower and reassure.

I bombed. Like totally, completely, utterly.

It was a woeful and awful showing, a complete letdown. That delivery was a poor reflection of what I can give and have given numerous times in the past. I simply did not do the event, my client and myself justice.

For the rest of the day my automatic kicked in and I began to beat myself up over it. I went into grieving mode and couldn’t bear to see anyone else. Checking my emails later that day, I could not bring myself to reply to two lucrative opportunities from prospective clients. My confidence was in freefall and I was in no frame of mind to promote my services.

So what did I do?

I responded to one email, a request from someone I am mentoring. She needed my help urgently and desperately. There was no time to think, no need to consider. I threw myself to her aid. It was no longer about me and all about helping her get through her situation. It was a big thing for her but required little of my energy and expertise. The impact was instant – her problem was solved and she was immensely grateful; I swung from distraught to delight, from being emotionally delicate to invigorated.

That shift helped me to focus on preparing for my next assignment, a five-day workshop. I decided that this time the result would be nothing short of spectacular. To make up for letting a group of people down, I would bring another group up to seventh heaven. This would mean making sacrifices and employing a rigorous approach to preparation and execution.

It worked. That workshop took place all of last week. It was a week that created concrete and credible results in the lives of the participants even as the days passed. For five days, they took themselves to a depth of learning, a degree of understanding and a clarity of vision that they had never before experienced.

And I won back the sterling feedback in my evaluation. More importantly, I won back meaning in what I do. I won back my confidence and self belief. I freed myself again.

That experience has taught me how to get back on my feet – by fully focusing on helping someone else; by beginning a new day determined to make it a better one; and by living with too high a spirit to be burdened with my old history and bygone nonsense.

In the words of Grammy award-winner singer-songwriter and activist Angelique Kidjo, “You can fall but you can rise also.”

Many people have asked if I am no longer blogging and my answer is no. I will keep on writing as long as one person gets some value, benefit or learning out of it. So much has happened in the last few months and there are so many lessons to blog about. And I will. First things first, these are a couple of videos that have emerged from the last several weeks. These are the good news. My next blog will be from a setback that I just experienced.

Life just keeps getting better. Since completing the 4 Deserts, publishing my book Runaway Success: Life Lessons from Ultra Endurance Racing, and speaking at high profile events at such as this year’s Asia Professional Speakers Singapore (APSS) annual Raise Your Game event and TEDx Singapore, I have been attracting more lucrative opportunities. These have come in the form of work offers, partnership approaches and business collaborations.

One such overture came a few weeks ago. On the surface, it was a sound proposition. The company is expanding its presence here in the region and seeking local partners. I would have more work, more money, more diversity and a raised profile.

I would normally have leapt at such a chance but I was plagued by a nagging discomfort in my gut throughout the videoconference. The work is easy and well within my capabilities and the people seemed wonderful. But when I stepped back, looked at the bigger picture and asked myself, “Does this fit in with where you want to go?”, the answer was no.

The work is well within my comfort zone and thus easy, but not in the area that I am truly passionate about and connected with. Spending time on this now would earn me immediate money and gratification, but means sacrificing time and energy to focus on my growth areas. An additional variety of work is always fun and refreshing, but would dilute my brand and offerings. The opportunity costs are simply too high.

Saying no is not the easiest thing to do sometimes, but a feeling of liberation, of having done the right thing, immediately washed over me. I know without a shadow of doubt that I made the right decision.

What about you? What is tempting right now but may not be the best move for you in the long term? What do you want to say no to? Does it fit in with where you want to go?

In my last blog post, I wrote about speaking at a financial services seminar. That particular group was set a 13-week qualifying period after which incentives are awarded if they hit certain targets. In a debrief meeting with their managers yesterday, I received the outstanding news that some individuals have already achieved their goals and are continuing on to exceed expectations.

Whether it was a mindset shift, a moment of clarity, or a mighty desire, something clearly struck a chord and these individuals went out and took effective action immediately after the seminar. Just a third of the way into the game, and they have already hit their marks. Who are they?

In reflecting on why “who are they” can sometimes be a more powerful question to ask than “how did they do it”, I was brought back to December 2009. I had just completed the Sahara Race and a young lady had gotten in touch with me seeking advice on how she too could participate in the next race edition. She was doubtful about her own ability, skeptical about what she saw as her insufficient preparation and fearful about what could befall her during the race.

I invited her to one of my talks, chatted over coffee and subsequently went for a jog with her. Within one year, this young lady completed a series of ultra endurance races at home and abroad, including a 250km desert race. In that short space of time, she had gone from jogging in a few short races to running multiple endurance events.

When I caught up with her several months later and asked how she even started on that path of over-achievement, she simply answered, “I met you”. Before my ego had time to react, she continued, “and you seemed like an ordinary guy; you were so normal, just like the rest of us.”

Seeing someone similar to her succeed by sustained effort raised her own belief that she too has whatever it takes to master comparable activities required to succeed. She summaries this impact of vicarious experiences as “If you can do it, so can I.” She certainly can. And she certainly did.

As we come to the end of April, we find ourselves a third of the way into the year. How are you doing with your own goals? A way of creating and strengthening your self-belief is through the successful experiences provided by those similar to you. That someone would have lined up on the same start line as you, or is alike in background, or identical in capabilities. He or she is someone just like you.

Who are they? Because one thing is for certain: if they can do it, so can you.

Today saw the culmination of an intensive 5-day training workshop aimed at educating and equipping officers of the Singapore Armed Forces in the areas of Coaching and Facilitation. Somewhere along the way, I also managed to fit in a two-hour seminar for over a hundred financial services professionals.

The role I see for myself at each workshop/seminar/keynote presentation is uncomplicated: to inspire participants’ commitment to their goals and purpose; and influence them to take action toward improving themselves and their organization. One of the key words is action. At the end of the day, their positive experience and fresh learning will come to nought if they do not go out into their world and take inspired action to boost performance.

But what is it that drives us to action? That very act implies change and we all know how change can often be so unpalatable.  Often, leaders and managers extol benefits in the form of hitting KPIs, maximising revenue and increasing income. But sometimes the reward comes in much more simple and honest terms.

A friend recently told me the story of how her sister, an overweight lady who led a sedentary lifestyle, finally committed to, and completed, 30 consecutive days of exercise. At the end of it all, she reported feeling on top of the world, not because she had lost weight or looked any different. She felt a great sense of pride because she had kept her word. To herself.

Your word is your greatest bond. When you take an action you had previously declared, the feeling is liberating and your reward unmatched.

What word to yourself will you keep today?

Happy Lunar New Year to all my Chinese readers! One of the many phrases we greet each other with during this auspicious period is 心 想事成. This translates into dreams come alive – what the heart desires translates into reality.

As is the practice, we celebrate by visiting the homes of family and friends. During one such gathering I caught up with a friend with whom I had a coaching session previously. When I asked her how her goal getting was coming along, she screwed up her face and looked downright glum. Amid her vanishing smile, she guiltily admitted that she had not done anything about her goal. She then followed up with her concerns that she did not want her health and relationship with her family to suffer from the possible deluge of work involved in realizing her dreams.

I notice this phenomenon in many people. Days after talking excitedly about their dreams, they are no closer to their desires. A whole host of reasons is proffered, justifying the lack of action. Does this sound like you?

This is where honesty comes in. That is, honesty with self. Are you willing to commit, to do whatever it takes to achieve what you want? The key word here is willing. Willingness is the first step. Be honest and if you are not committed, or not yet willing, then don’t make any more action plans.

Because every time you fail to take action you will feel guilty and lousy about yourself. Your negative emotions override your initial excitement. And this negativity in the form of guilt, regret and pangs of conscience accumulates. It becomes associated with your goals and, before long, each time you think of your goals you are filled with negative feelings. Stop that. Stop sabotaging yourself.

It is okay if you are not yet ready to move forward toward that aspiration. Resist the temptation to want to try and do something about it. Set it aside temporarily and revisit it when you are ready, when you are willing to get committed to it. Then take inspired action. Realising your dreams takes hard work but it need not be heavy going. On the contrary, it should be invigorating and exhilarating.

Dreams come alive.

So it is upon us. 2012.

The last days of 2011 were a blend of joyous love and raucous laughter as I brought Jillian and returned to the UK to spend Christmas, my birthday and New Year with my parents. I last spent the year-end festivities with my family 10 years ago, so this visit was especially special.

We celebrated our time with one another:

All spruced up for midnight mass. My parents and myself in front of our Christmas tree after yet another splendid dinner prepared by mum.

We celebrated our successes:

My first book! It speaks of the inspiration and perspirations behind my ultra endurance races in the 4 great deserts of Sahara, Gobi, Atacama and Antarctica and how the lessons learnt can be transferred from race world to real world.

We celebrated what is to come this year:

A perfect way to start the new year! Along with 7 other Professional Members of the Asia Professional Speakers Singapore, I will be speaking at this inspiring one-day conference packed with great ideas and techniques to enhance work, life and family. Click on the banner for more and to register. Not to be missed!

2012 is a new year and the same old me. Some old habits I will take along and continue practising and some new habits I will form to help me be a better man.

What actions will you take in 2012?